Day 24 - Reflection

I believe God has placed us to be a positive, loving, supporting influence to all close to us.  Not only are people brought into our lives to bless us but we are to be a blessing for everyone.  Cherish the time you have with others and stop to listen to their hearts. Don't pass too quickly by the people you meet.  Everyone has something to give and deserves to be heard and loved.  Ask God to show how you can be a blessing to those around you.   Love unconditionally.  Listen. Really listen.  God may be speaking directly to you through this person.  

Peace...

Day 23 - Fear

I know I will be making major changes this year in my transition.  Some of these things will deal with my purpose in life. My family is a main part of my purpose in life. They are what matters most.   Making a life change can be very fearful. Life is about the relationships we build with one another and taking time to really see the people you live with every day.  I realize I keep too much stuff from my day lingering with me.  It can hinder quality time with my family. 

Fear can keep us from changing our lives for our true journey.  Don't stay in your current state if it is not giving you joy with the ones you love. Step out in faith and make the changes you need to live out your purpose. 

Day 22 - Give Thanks

It is good  at some point, everyday to take time out of your life to give thanks.  Today I can be thankful for many things.

I am thankful for the most wonderful loving husband in the world.

I am thankful for a sensitive, intelligent and caring son.

I am thankful for a lively and lovely adorable daughter.

I am thankful for the close friends who care about me.

I am thankful for my family.

Take time everyday to tell the ones you care about most how thankful you are to have them in your life.

Peace...

Day 21 - Value

Hello.  Week 21 and more results!

Blogged -  Yes, except Sunday,  (memory loss)

Water  - Yes -  Successful this week with the Water

Devotions - Yes  Daily Event

Treadmill -  Yes -  I believe it is now a habit!!!! Walking 30 minutes+

Getting rid of clutter - Yes cleaned under the sink!

Weight -   Lost.........................11lbs!  When you don't eat any carbs but veggies it has to work.

The best thing I have come to realize is how much I value myself.  Self worth is very important in life.  You have to believe in yourself and know you are worth every great thing.  I am excited about this journey and looking forward to the next week, and the next,etc.......

God is ever present and with us through everything.  I believe he is looking out for us always.

Proverbs 3:5-8
Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil! Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life! 

Peace.....

Day 20 - Expanding Our Horizon

Cliff, (Hubby) and I will be joining a small group this fall that meets once a week.  We are going to meet with about 4 other couples with the purpose of going deeper in our faith and meeting in a smaller setting to talk and share about life.  We have been in 3 other small groups.  We really enjoyed the first group we were in.  Everyone seemed to click together and we became a group that could share, laugh, and cry together.  The other two were good as well but did not seem to get the same connection as the first.  The group we will be starting is at a church we no longer attend but know the people within the group.  We are attending another church.  So what's up with that?  I guess my question is do you have to be a member of one church to meet in a small group setting?  What would God think?  I don't think God cares.  I think what God cares most about is the relationships we make with one another and most important that our relationship with God is deepend.  God wants us to build a family of believers as one body in Christ.  I think the church can isolate themselves and not expand their horizons.  So I am happy Cliff and I decided to join this group.  The small group where we don't attend.  

Tomorrow is day 21 of my make it a habit crusade.  I will be excited to report to you my results.

Peace.........

 

Day 19 - I Forgot

Yesterday I forgot to post a blog.  It did not even register until today.  I thought about what I would blog throughout the day but never sat down to do it.  I do have really clean windows, though.  My mom and sister are coming to town, so getting in a little bit of cleaning for their arrival.

Yesterday I was very consumed with wanting something sweet.  Being on the low carb thing it is a big change from what all I was eating.  It is amazing of the carb count on some foods.  But I did get through the day without cheating.  I am very excited about my will power at this moment.  It is something I thought I would never have back.

The biggest change for me though is the treadmill.  I enjoy the time I spend walking.  And....I feel better.  So if you were like me and just came home from work to sit in a chair and veg, I encourage you to get up and do something.  Even if it is just walking back and forth down the hall.  Believe that you can do it.  And...You will feel better.  I think exercise is more important than the diet.  Of course you have to have both, but the exercise will change your attitude.  It is hard to start.  But just start moving.  Set a goal and stick to it.

Peace.....

Day 17 - Promises

I love this. God loves us so much.  Embrace His love and His promises today.

Peace..........

Day 16 - Taste

I decided I must change the enjoyment of food to something else.  My family is all about food.  Growing up we gathered around the table of great food.  When we accomplished something or celebrated an event it was about food.  Of course I carry the tradition to my family. So change will be good in replacing food with many other activities.  Right now my taste buds are lacking.  I am on the low carb diet so most of my food is veggies and some sort of meat, fish, or poultry.  I think I am hungry but it is the craving for a flavor that I cannot have.  Yes, I could have but I am choosing to not have.  I am stronger than I have been in the past because I believe I can succeed in my goals.  My confidence to win the battle over my body and change my lifestyle for the good is very strong.  Stronger than me wanting certain foods. A little bit of sacrifice now will be a big reward later in life.  Especially if I live out a longer healthier lifestyle.   Set a goal and Go For It.  We can be successful just like anyone out there.

Peace....... 

Day 15- Softer

I am becoming a softer person.  Not body wise, but softer in my way of thinking.  When you begin to realize that who you please is God and God alone, the other things in life don't matter so much.  When things happen at work,  you work through it and continue on.  I like being soft. Soft represents the good qualities of a person.  Gentleness, Kindness, Self Control, Peace, Love, Charity, Humbleness.  It is amazing how this kind of transformation has happened to me since August 7.  But even before that I did not like the life I had nor did I want to continue what it represented.  I am now at peace with the world.

If you get a chance, join Pinterest.  I love just looking at positive quotes on life, love, and purpose.  I have a new signature quote for my email.  Yes, kind of corny, but that is a trend at my work.  It is this.

"The purpose of life is a life of purpose."  Robert Byrne

How simple is that.  A life of purpose.  I know God wants us to love and have love at the center of all of our lives.  And to live for others.

Look around your closest friends and ask God how you can help those close to you and fulfill your purpose of love for one another.

Peace..........

Day 14 - Listen

Ok- End of week 2.

Walked every day.   Nailed it

Drank Water instead of Sweet Tea.  -   Not completely  80%

Weight Loss - 1 lb  (Maybe too much sweet tea. and other stuff...............)

Lightened my load.  - My husband is really good at getting rid of stuff.  I, on the other hand am not doing this very well.

TV -  Hardly none.

Yes,  I am good with week 2.  Not great, but good.  I am totally getting the walking thing.  7 more days and I have a habit.  Today was a great day for water.  I drank more today than I have since starting my journey.  I have switched to Atkins at the suggestion of my Dr.  I thought that was a pretty aggressive diet but she said it would be the best for me to see some results.  I have to go back to her in one month on my progress.

So that leads me to our thought for the day.  God places so many people in our lives for a reason.  I know the Doctor is one of them.  She spent about 30 minutes with me discussing my plan for improving my health.  She has ordered a series of tests to make sure I am not sick now.  And is going to continue to follow up with me to ensure my habits are changing.  I am open to change so this comes at the right time in my life to make these changes work for me.

Search out who God is placing in front of you to help you on your journey.

Peace......

Day 14 - Polyphenols

I went to the Dr today for my annual physical.  I have some new vocabulary to share with you.

Polyphenols - Polyphenols are the chemicals that give vegetables and fruits their colors.  They also represent the plant's primary defense mechanism against invading bacteria and other parasites.  These foods are very important for an unhealthy person to fix Cellular Inflammation.

Cellular Inflammation - When the body contains too much Omega 6 and not enough Omega 3.  Caused by eating too many carbs.  Bad carbs.  Not the Polyphenols.

Omega 3 Fish Oil - Omega 3 fatty acids are the dietary building blocks to make powerful anti-inflammatory hormones.  Without adequate levels of omega-3 fatty acids in the diet, cellular inflammation increases.

So along with God, I have my Doctor to help me with my transitional journey.  I went to the store to stock up on my Polyphenols.  Here they are.

Peace.................

Day 13 - Be Happy

I want to post something I received off of Lifehack.  These are definitely worth getting rid of in your daily life.  Enough said.   Peace......

Day 12 - Acceptance

It was a great sermon at 12 stones today.  It was about acceptance.  I realized that my life has been about being accepted in a group or community or wherever I am in life.  The pastor brought out though that our acceptance is with God.  God is all we need to feel whole.  When we accept his love, his promise, his Spirit, his word, we can live with the peace we are all searching for.  It is very simple.  I make it so complicated.  Once I know God accepts me,  I can accept me.  I can live without trying to please or become or form with the masses.  The masses of capitalism.  The masses of work.  The masses of greed or hate or revenge.  The masses of the worldly ways.  Know and believe today that you are accepted by God.

To connect with my church go to 12stone.com

Day 11 Be An Example

"I don't want to."  It's hard to do everything right.  In fact I am not very good at it.  Children are really good to have around.    They don't worry about the politics of life.  They say what they feel.  And my kids are very good to remind me if I said I would do something or point out when I am not doing good.  Driving in Atlanta can bring out the worst in me.  My daughter gets a dollar if I say a bad word.  She gets dollars in the car a lot.  Patience is something I need to improve over this year.  I also want to be an example to everyone I meet.  God created us for beauty and love.  It is showing the beauty and love in the real world. In the traffic.  At work.  At home.  I am going to focus on my inward beauty and love in all circumstances. This will be my mini goal for the week.

Day 10 - Normal

What is normal?  I don't want to be normal.  I want to be real.  I want my genuine God intended soul to be present in every situation.  The journey began as the transformation of body, mind, and soul.  I believe, my answer to true transformation will begin with my soul.  The more I dwell in God's answers the more I understand the simplicity of life and how we should live.

Simple.
Peaceful.
Loving.

Seek to find your normal.  With God it will probably be far from any "normal" life but one of miracles, mystery, and utter joy.

Search me O God you know my heart.
Search me completely O God
Wherever I go you will always be.
Even darkness can't hide from your light.
Creator of the Universe, so perfectly you made.
Omnipotent and Mighty, You are Lord of All.
Yet you know only me.
You're with only me.
Humbly I bow before you Lord.
Search me O God.

Day 9 Take off the Mask

I found this great read today.  It's all about taking off your mask and becoming real.  I am going to copy but let you know where to read more of the words from Zac Poonen, a pastor who lives in India.  My son stopped going to church because he was never accepted for who he was and he saw completely through the fake appearances within the church.  

http://www.cfcindia.com/web/mainpages/bookshelf.php

“All of us go through life playing a ‘hiding game’. Because we are ashamed of what we are, we hide from each other. We wear masks so that others won’t be able to see the real person living inside us. We look at each other through our masks and call that ‘fellowship’. We give people the impression that we are secure and undisturbed, but that is only a mask. Underneath that mask we are confused, afraid and lonely. We fear lest others see through us. We are afraid that if they saw the real person inside, they would reject us and perhaps laugh at us - and their laugh would kill us. So we play the ‘pretending game’ – appearing to be confident and assured, but all the while trembling like a child within. Our whole life becomes a front. We talk and joke with others, telling them all the un-important things about ourselves and nothing about that which is really crying out within us.”

“We long to be accepted, understood and loved by others. But we have found in experience, that whenever we expose our real selves to others, they reject us. We keep searching for someone who will accept us, even when they know everything about us. But we never find such a person. We hear of born-again Christians talking about love, and hope rises within our hearts that perhaps they might accept us. But when we join them, we discover very soon that they too are wearing masks. And they only find fault with us.

“What is the solution to this? We need to see ourselves accepted and loved by God just as we are. God is Love. To experience the love of God will make us bold. And we will no longer need to pretend. We will then be ourselves – with God as well as with man. The love of God will never force us to do anything. God recognizes all our imperfections and He still accepts us without condemning us. On the other hand, He wants to perfect us. To know that we have been accepted by God in spite of all that He sees in us and knows about us, is the root of a happy Christian life. This is the abundant life that Jesus came to give.

“Knowing the love of God will also bring a permanent end to our seeking for acceptance from man. We will be filled with confidence. Our guilt will be gone and our fears will be driven away. We may be alone sometimes, but never lonely, for God has promised never to leave us or forsake us.”

Day 8 - Be Encouraged!

One week has past.  So What?  Here's What!

• Not Watching as much TV - If very little.
• Lost 5 pounds
• Blogged Every Day
• Walked on the Treadmill every day but Sunday
• Switched to Water instead of tea.  2X's went for the tea.
• Meditation and Prayer Every Night Before Bed.

Nailed It!  I consider my first week of transitional journey a success. 

My motto is "Slow and steady wins the race!"  I don't see turtles with a lot of stress.  Maybe they just don't show it.  But they seem to have a chillin about them that lets everyone know they are on their way but not going to get stressed about anything if they don't make it in time.

Remember the idea of this is to create some basic habits so I can change and transition my mind, body, and spirit within a year and have it transform me for the rest of my life.  I cannot even count how many times I have begun a diet or some exercise program only to fail miserably within 3 weeks.  Then after 5 months from that start date look back and think, if I had kept up with my program I would have seen so much in results.

Starting is the hardest part.  Starting takes courage and strength.  Sometimes we don't have the courage or strength to get off the couch.  But never give up.  Always push yourself a little bit.  Believe me,  my walk on the treadmill is not a marathon.  Although,  I believe I could do a marathon.  Anyone of us has the ability to accomplish anything we set out to do.  

Don't every let anyone make you feel you are worthless or unable to achieve what you believe.  And most of all don't let yourself make you feel you are worthless.  Start every morning and every night telling yourself you are somebody.  You are specially made by God.  You are loved by God.  You have a purpose.  You can make the changes you want.  Even if you cant believe it now,  say it anyway.  At night do the same thing.  Focus on the thing you want to change.  Let it envelope you and surround you.  Be encouraged.

I want to share with you my most favorite passage in the Bible.

Ephesians 1: 3-14  from the Message

3-6 How blessed is God! And what a blessing he is! He’s the Father of our Master, Jesus Christ, and takes us to the high places of blessing in him. Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love, to be made whole and holy by his love. Long, long ago he decided to adopt us into his family through Jesus Christ. (What pleasure he took in planning this!) He wanted us to enter into the celebration of his lavish gift-giving by the hand of his beloved Son.

7-10 Because of the sacrifice of the Messiah, his blood poured out on the altar of the Cross, we’re a free people—free of penalties and punishments chalked up by all our misdeeds. And not just barely free, either. Abundantly free! He thought of everything, provided for everything we could possibly need, letting us in on the plans he took such delight in making. He set it all out before us in Christ, a long-range plan in which everything would be brought together and summed up in him, everything in deepest heaven, everything on planet earth.

11-12 It’s in Christ that we find out who we are and what we are living for. Long before we first heard of Christ and got our hopes up, he had his eye on us, had designs on us for glorious living, part of the overall purpose he is working out in everything and everyone.

13-14 It’s in Christ that you, once you heard the truth and believed it (this Message of your salvation), found yourselves home free—signed, sealed, and delivered by the Holy Spirit. This signet from God is the first installment on what’s coming, a reminder that we’ll get everything God has planned for us, a praising and glorious life. 

If you can't think of anything to say good about yourself.  Then just ready this verse as many times per day as you can until you own it and believe it.  Then ask God to reveal His plan for you.

I pray for a world full of believers who realize the praising and glorious life that God has planned for us.  Amen.

Peace........

Day 7. Habit Forming

But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  There is no law against these things! (NLT)
 ( Galatians 5:22-23 )

Ever wonder if someone is a Christian?  Take a look at their life.  Do they express joy?  Do they show love towards everyone?  Do they display uncommon gentleness? The above qualities are inherent to the Holy Spirit.  While these characteristics may not always be evident, it becomes a reflection of how spending time with God will produce these uncommon characteristics.  What about you? Have you been spending time with the Holy Spirit to produce this kind of fruit in your life?
Download this app to get your daily devotions: http://jctrois.com

Yes, I took this from a daily devotions app. This helps me realize my time with God has been lacking.   My hubby and I  were discussing what type of sacrifice one would make to spend more time with God. Like anything else in this world we spend most of our time with things we enjoy the most. However it's like any new thing. It may not be fun in the beginning but as you develop your habit you begin to enjoy what you do.  So on that note I will walk myself to the treadmill. It hasn't become a habit yet....

Peace.....

Day 6 Absence of Anger

I love Pinterest. I have been collecting quotes. I have a board on becoming.  I love this board. It has the things I want to change or want to live to become. Here is one of the pins.

I thought this was very appropriate to my blog on becoming transparent.  It is also worth thinking about.  I believe that my reactions to life are all about me and not the world.  I have now tried to focus my reactions or lack of reaction not based on others but on my internal beliefs, values, and inner peace.  I do not want to be stressed from others. It is a wrong energy to contain. I want to focus on letting go.  

Now before all you  Christians start doing the church lady dance,  let me tell you I am still Christian. I happen to believe that there are many words used within other beliefs that are easily applied to Christian beliefs.  You have to agree that everything above Jesus would put on Pinterest too.  I think we Christians make it so completely complicated. 

back to the point.  Today I didn't get angry. Life is good. 

Let it go tomorrow.    Peace.....

Day 5 Heat

I hate being hot. I lived in Florida for about 4 years and couldn't take the heat and humidity. It's pretty hot everywhere in the summer. But it's really hot in Florida. I have used heat as an excuse for not living out doors. I loved growing up with lush green yards and beautiful flowers my mom would grow. She is like me and doesn't like the heat. But she sacrificed herself for the beautiful results of fresh cut flowers and an enjoyment of the yard.  My mom sacrificed much for others.  She loves my dad and her four kids. She said when she got married she made sure she never fixed the same thing for dinner for my dad for the first year of marriage.  That is such a giving beautiful spirit.  Of course no Internet in 1955. So she lived in her magazines of Better Homes and Gardens or any other magazine.  That was the idea she wanted for her family.  She found recipies in those magazines and ideas of how she would one day make her home.  Mom grew up very poor.  Then she married a preacher and continued the meager life.  My dad had to deliver telephone books in his spare time to bring in extra money. She picked up her dinning room set, bedroom set and most things from people throwing it out in the street or handed down from parishioners.  She kept her bedroom set over 50 years.  A little full size bed.

She is a role model of the loving  person who has a genuine joy in making people happy.  I love my mom.  I know she has lived the life of humility. She is a beautiful example of how God wants us to live.   Helping others and making life beautiful  

Life has sacrifices.  Throughout our life when we sacrifice we can see beauty in the end.  Others will see beauty and glimps the face of God through our actions. 

I can take a little heat.  Peace.........

Day 4 Time To Breathe

Today is Saturday.  A time for me to breathe.  I work Monday through Friday like most of y'all and end up with very little time to do.  Monday's and Thursday's are Cheer practice for my daughter.  Tuesday will be a small group starting in September.  Wednesday's is youth group from my daughter.  I bet anyone of you have way more than this if you are dealing with more than one child.  I will pray for you.

I love to Breathe.  What that means to me is Chill'n, resting, restoring our body and mind.  Doing something fun or choosing not to do anything at all.  I don't think our country breathes enough.  If we aren't working we are getting our kids to an from some activity.  My life contains a commute of about 45 minutes each way.  For Atlanta I think that is pretty good.  There are so many cars going way farther than me.  My husband's commute is about an hour to and hour and a half each way.  Driving in a car is not breathing.   It is stressful, irritating, boring,  and a waste of time.

What does God say about "breathing".    My word search was on rest and restore.

Jeremiah 31:25

I’ll refresh tired bodies; I’ll restore tired souls.

Genesis 2:2-4

By the seventh day God had finished his work. On the seventh day he rested from all his work. God blessed the seventh day. He made it a Holy Day Because on that day he rested from his work, all the creating God had done. This is the story of how it all started, of Heaven and Earth when they were created.

Even God breathes.  He also wants us to breathe.

We all have choices in our lives to make.  How much time do we choose to breathe weekly?  This comes back to the core priorities we make with our lives.  I am sitting here at my computer, totally quiet in the house.   I think it is time to breathe.


Rest......Restore......Breathe......Peace................

Day 3 give it to God

Have you ever turned anything completely over to God.  Why do we feel the need to control so much? I know the letting Go and letting God thing is very hard for me to do.

Walked on treadmill.  Yes

Drank water instead of tea.  NO

Devotions. YES

  Blogged.   YES

   

Peace.............

Day 2 The journey has begun.

21 Days to Make a Habit Stick.

Here is my list of what I will do for the next 21 days to stick these habits.

1. Drink water instead of sweet tea.  Yes, being from the south it's all about the sweet tea.

2. Walk on the treadmill every day.  No TV until done.

3.  Blog

4.  Time with God

Ok.  That sounds do-able.  I stepped off the platform of my safety zone.  I plan to blog every day.  I want to definately post my progress by taking a picture of myself and posting every week.  I hope I am not the preacher on Eleanor Rigby that spends his time writing his sermons for no one to hear.  Even so,  if I find myself during this journey then everything is worth it.

  If you get a chance check out this website.  Flannel Store.  They have great inspirational studies for groups or individuals.  I have been in a small group with the Nooma studies.  Great. Great. Great.  I am now listening to Ed's Story.  If you like it let me know.

We all need help and there is so much out on the net now.   Find yourself today.  Start thinking of what you will become and change your world and others.

Music

Music is my passion.  From a very early age music has touched my soul.  I think if I had to choose between blindness or deaf, I would choose blindness. Music gets me through the workout.  (Only doing 20 minutes so don't get too impressed.)  I love all kinds of music.  Check out Dixon's Violin if you ever want to hear something truly fabulous. Dixon's Violin   Find your inspiration in music.  Can you tell I am getting some inspiration from Dixon?  Gave up his career to follow his life dream.

Peace..................

The Journey Begins- Transparency

Today is my Birthday.  I am 52 years old.  I am starting a year long journey to become transparent with my life and my self.  I am taking a year to find myself.  Find out who I am and how God created me to exist.  I suppose I should have figured it out by now but I don't think I was ready before to face my life,  myself, who I am, and what I need to transform to become what God intended.  

I seek to know who I can become through a transformation of my Mind, Body, and Spirit.  So my beginning will be to address who I am now and who I believe God wants me to become.  

Transparent #1  I suffer from Depression.

All around me are familiar faces

Worn out places, worn out faces

Bright and early for the daily races

Going nowhere, going nowhere

Their tears are filling up their glasses

No expression, no expression

Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow

No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take

When people run in circles its a very, very

Mad world, mad world

Read more: Gary Jules - Mad World Lyrics | MetroLyrics

If you read the lyrics above and have never felt that way before then you have probably never suffered from depression.   I take medicine to help me with my depression.  I wish I did not have this feeling, but thinking happy thoughts,  unicorns, or rainbows, doesn't help the mood.  

I believe this is one transparency I will look at this year.

Transparent # 2  I am Phat. 

 (I cannot come to use the F in the word.)  So I guess I am not being Transparent.  My husband says I am more translucent.   I will take that.   My weight has been a struggle all of my life and I am determined to use this year to understand why.  Instead of Alcohol, or cigarettes, or drugs, or whatever,  I chose food as my vice.  It is easy to get and has I guess over the years satisfied whatever I am missing in my life.  They say it takes 21 days to change a habit.  I have the treadmill upstairs and am vowing today to use it daily for 21 days to make this a habit.  TV is out until the treadmill is done.  

I believe this is one translusency (I know that's not a word) I will look at this year.  

Transparent #3 Finding Inner Peace.

Who doesn't want that?  The world is crazy and sometimes sucks.  But yet we constantly are going after the wrong things in life to believe what we might obtain will give us this satisfaction.  Inner peace of who I am, what I believe, how I live, is something I have never achieved.  

I believe this is one transparency I will look at this year.

Transparent #4  Finding God and living as He intended.

Yes, I know.  This should be first.  Once found everything else falls into place.  But when you have the other junk in front of you it's hard to focus on God.  I am being transparent here.  However,  my year long journey will be seeking God more than I have ever done before.  Finding my relationship with Him and have a communion of meditation and prayer.  But also finding my life's purpose on how God intended me to life and what my relationship should be with the rest of the world.  My family,  My friends,  My neighbors,  My community,  My world.

I believe this is one transparency I will look at this year.  

Transparent # 5  I have too much stuff.

So there it is.  My blog is for me.  But also for anyone who cares or faces the same kind of struggles.  I have lived in a denial type world and not been true to myself.  I am tired of keeping the face with the mask over me for the world to see.  I want to share with you my life.  In doing so, I will begin to let go any fears I have lived with in my life.